Astridr had been walking in the woods with a sword at her waist. It was only weapon that she knew how to us anyway. Today seemed like a fine day to get some hunting done. The dwarrowdam had to get some things of her mind and that included her deceased father. Hunting was one way to keep her mind off of it.  She spotted a rabbit and got out her sword and go and get it. She slowly approached the rabbit but a branch snapped and the rabbit ran away. Astridr went right after it. 

She then saw the rabbit go into a pig's bum and at the moment she wasn't thinking straight so she got down on all fours and crawled into the pig's bum. She was already almost out when she felt that she could not even move from her position. She cursed in dwarvish a little to herself. She needed to calm down. True Astridr was stuck but she would attempt to get out of this pig's bum if it was the last thing she would do. 

"I just wanted to get the rabbit" Astridr said to herself as she struggled to get out of what appeared to be a sticky situation. She groaned when she didn't even move a single inch. "This day couldn't have gotten any better" she said to herself once more. She hesitated upon calling for help to free her from this tight hole of a pig's bum. Astridr eventually had no choice but to call out to see if anyone was nearby to help her out of this sticky situation. She started to call out as loud as she could so someone would hopefully hear her desperate plea. Her voice didn't even show a hint of a prank. This was a real actual situation she somehow got herself into. 

All the while, as she called for help, Astridr started to squirm trying to free herself but with no avail. Nothing was working no matter how hard she tried to push herself free. She groaned in frustration hoping someone heard her cries and immediately came running to the source of the noise. She couldn't hear anyone so she was starting to fear the worse, that no one was going to help her even if they heard her desperate plea. 

Kíli’s lessons for the day were (finally) over and the young prince, for lack of anything better to do (Fee would be busy with Loní for at least another hour and Kíli didn’t have the patience to wait quietly for his brother in his room), had decided to explore the woods surrounding Erebor and take a relaxing stroll. Alone. Without company. Completely and utterly alone. Something that Pód, who’d all but stalked him out of the mountain, hadn’t seemed to have understood.

Kíli knew that, technically, he was allowed to wander around the mountain and the surrounding area without an escort (as long as he was armed and alert) but that, in reality, that wasn’t the case. He supposed that he was supposed to just accept that, where ever he went, he’d have a babysitter following him around: Pód, Dwalin, Balin, Gloin, Loní…. They seemed to be on some kind of rotation that meant that he was never left alone. It was extremely irritating and part of the reason that Kíli had been so eager to give Pód the slip and go for a quiet walk. The other reason he’d been so desperate to get away was because there was only so much stuttering he could put up with in a day.

He’d been walking at a leisurely pace, head tilted back to catch the rays of the sun filtering through the foliage, for a few minutes when something caught his attention. The first thing was a slight rustling up ahead. True, this wasn’t something that should have seemed out of place, it was a wood after all and there was always something moving in the undergrowth, but, to Kíli’s trained ears, it was something extremely interesting. It sounded like he wasn’t alone in the woods. It better not be Pód following him.

Kíli tried to locate where the sound was coming from but it wasn’t easy to pinpoint. He was about to give up and leave Pód, because it had to be Pód, to his stalking when he spotted some tracks in the foliage. Maybe it’s time to play a little prank. It would serve Pód right for snooping.

He followed the tracks further in to the wood, his earlier intention of simply taking a relaxing stroll completely forgotten… Slowly and ever so carefully, Kíli silently made his way into the clearing, expecting to be greeted by the sight of his tutor crashing around in the underbush.

That was not what happened.

Instead, Kili was greeted by the sight of a dwarf’s rear-end poking out of a pig's bum.

Wiggling.

It certainly didn’t belong to Pód.

He straightened from his crouch and blinked in confusion, not quite sure what to make of the scene in front of him. He’d seen some strange things in his time and no doubt would see many more but this… this was just something he wasn’t equipped to deal with; it was just so bizarre that there was really nothing he could think to say about it.

Then the pig's bum with legs, as Kíli had decided to call it, started to talk, obviously unaware that it now had company. The voice was muffled and weirdly echoey, completely impossible to understand, and made the scene all the more bizarre because now the pig's bum with legs was talking in a strange language.

Kíli bit back a laugh, half way between confused hysterics and genuine mirth Kíli did the only thing he could think to do. He crouched down again and resumed his course, silently moving closer to the unfortunate stuck in the pig's bum.

With a grin, he whacked hard on the top of the pig's bum and listened to sound echo inside the pig's bum.

Astridr heard the whack and looked up from the opposite end with her arms and head free. She knew the sound of the whack happened to be of Kili. She rolled her eyes slightly and made her voice not muffled and clear to understand. She did stop wiggling after the whack on the pig's bum that seemed to echo but she didn't wince. Her sword was right by the pig's bum. Kili knew Astridr's sword and that was hers on the ground right next to the pig's bum.

"Kee? Is that you" Astridr asked being clear this time and it wasn't muffled so he would understand what she was saying. Astridr sighed a little bit while also thinking the worst. That if it was Kili, Astridr was afraid that he wouldn't even try to help her our of this stick situation. She waited for a reply really hoping he heard her clearly and not muffled. Even if he didn't understand, the sword was in complete sight so he would end up seeing the sword. Plus there was a way to get to the front end anyway. Astridr stopped trying to break free seeing how it was no use.

"I will never get out of here" Astridr said to herself. She really hoped she would but right at the moment, Astridr had a bad feeling that she would remain stuck here for quite awhile. She sighed once more while praying that Kee had heard her clearly or at least had seen her sword.

The pig's bum-with-legs, as Kíli had affectionately started calling it in his head, spoke again. This time, unlike the first time when it was muffled and garbled, it was loud and clear and Kíli definitely recognised it. Even if he hadn’t, the fact that the pig's bum-with-legs had called him “Kee” would have been a dead giveaway as there were very few dwarrows who used that name; one of them was his brother, the other one was Astridr. Kíli highly doubted Fíli had skipped out on an important lesson with his tutor just to get stuck in a pig's bum. So, by that logic, it was the pig's bum-with-legs

Kíli moved to the front of the pig's bum and burst out laughing at the sight that confronted him. Astridr’s bottom half stuck out of one end of the pig's bum (wiggling) and her head and arms stuck out the other. It was perhaps one of the strangest things Kíli had ever seen in his life.

He doubled over laughing, tears streaming down his face. His cheeks ached, his stomach hurt, and he felt light-headed but Kíli couldn’t help but think that is felt nice to laugh so hard, especially when he hadn’t in quite some time. He felt that this was definitely something he needed to tell Fee about when he met up with him for dinner…. Or perhaps he could go and drag him away from his lesson just to show him in person. But no, that would be a little too cruel. It wouldn’t do to leave Astridr stuck in the pig's bum for so long… No. He couldn’t do that but he could at least have some fun before he helped her out. It was times like this Kíli wished he were better at painting or drawing.

Wiping his eyes and fighting back bursts of laughter, Kíli knelt down next to his friend.

“’Lo Astridr! Bit of a strange situation you’ve got yourself into isn’t? Are you trying out some new exercise regime to grow taller? Or is wearing a pig's bum as a kind of dress a new fashion I just haven’t heard about yet?”

Astridr glared at Kee but not in a mean tone that is. It certainly wasn't funny at all. "Not funny Kee" Astridr said to him with a glare. She knew he wouldn't leave her alone here for long hours. She certainly doubted he would help her out of this right away. Instead she couldn't help but smile herself. It actually was a little bit funny. "It is a little funny" Astridr then admitted and stopped glaring at Kee then sighed. She put her head into her arms not knowing how she was going to get out and if Kee would be able to get her out on his own.

Astridr kept her face hidden really trying not to break down out of fear that she would end up dying like this. She really hoped that wouldn't happen at all. She sighed once more. "Just help me get out" Astridr said looking back up at him again. Of course he would have his fun which for some reason she wouldn't mind. It would entertain her until he started to help to help her out of this situation. She did have some tears stream down her cheeks just wanting to be free from this pig's bum. 

“’It is a little funny’,” Kíli mimicked, pitching his voice ridiculously high in gentle mockery. “Now, now Astridr, that’s where you’re wrong.” He schooled his features into the expression he had seen so often on his uncle’s face before continuing. “It’s not funny at all, not even a little…”

He trailed off before his face broke into a grin and he began to laugh harder than before, clutching his sides and nearly toppling over. Once he’d managed to recover somewhat, having wiped the tears of laughter from the corners of his eyes and caught his breath, he crouched down do that he was level with her once more.

“It’s not funny,” He said with a grin. “It’s absolutely hilarious.”

And he doubled over laughing again. He really couldn’t help himself, it was just such a hilarious sight that, every time he so much as thought about it or looked at his friend for too long, laughter bubbled up and there was little he could do to stop it from making its way into the outside world. There were times that he wished he could just freeze and keep with him for the rest of his life so that, when he was old, he could take then out and show them to Fee and laugh about them with him. This was definitely one of those times.

With a sigh (and a silent resolution not to laugh anymore because his stomach was beginning to ache) Kíli settled himself down in front of his friend, crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap.

“So my little pig's bum-with-legs, care to tell me how you got in this sticky situation? I’m sure there’s a good story behind and well, you never know, if it’s good enough I might, just might, consider helping you.”

Astridr rolled her eyes a little bit at his fun but was letting him do that anyway. "It's absolutely hilarious" Astridr said mocking Kili now. She looked up at him with a friendly glare though. Part of her was saying that he was right, this was funny but another part was saying that it wasn't funny for her.

"Well if you must know, I was out doing some hunting since I need to practice anyway. Then came out a rabbit and I went after it. Of course it went through this pig's bum and due to me not thinking straight, I thought, Hey! I can fit in here! Only to find out that I couldn't. Of course with everything going on with my life which has been quite upsetting, I didn't even realize what I was doing" Astridr said. She snapped a little bit of course not meaning to but she was getting slightly frustrated at the moment.

Astridr soon enough looked away from Kili and didn't say a word after that. She wasn't fairing very well in here. The whole time she spoke, there was truth in her eyes so Kee would know she was telling the truth and not lying. She huffed a little bit and then sighed. This was one thing she wasn't exactly happy with.

The story of how Astridr had ended up in the pig's bum had Kíli in stitches (almost quite literally as he keeled over from laughing so hard he nearly brained himself on the pig's bum bit of the pig's bum-with-legs). If Kíli thought the situation had been funny before it was nothing compared to how side-splittingly hilarious it was not that he knew how his friend had ended up in the pig's bum. Quite frankly, Kíli wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to not laugh when thinking of the story. Or even hold back a giggle when he thought of his friend or looked her in the eye. It was definitely something that would be stuck in his mind for the rest of his life and it was definitely going to one of those bright spots that would never fail to make him smile.

He was definitely going to have to tell Fee. There was no point having something that made him smile if he couldn’t share it with his brother.

Although that wasn’t the only reason he wanted to tell Fee though. Lately, ever since they had taken back Erebor, there had been a dark cloud that seemed to linger around his brother’s head like the smell of troll had after their encounter with them on the quest. It wasn’t all that obvious, Kíli had only noticed it because he spent almost all his time with his brother and prided himself on knowing almost everything there was to know about him, but once it was noticed it was hard to ignore. He knew that it was partly due to the pressure he was under, Fíli felt the weight of the crown he was one day to bear and there was only so much Kíli could do to ease the weight, but there was something else there as well. There was a tension between Fee and his uncle that hadn’t been there before and Kíli couldn’t work out where it had come from and, because he didn’t know what had caused the tension, there was little he could do to resolve the matter. It irked and hurt Kíli that there was something that his brother was keeping from him and that he couldn’t help Fíli with something that was obviously causing him pain.

Kíli wanted to tell Fee about the pig's bum-with-legs incident because he wanted to feel like he was doing something to make his brother smile and forget about all his problems for a little while.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Kíli propped himself on his elbows in order to look at Astridr. He wiped his eyes on the back of his hand and tried hard not to start laughing again. Luckily he managed to control himself.

“I… I… I just don’t… don’t understand how you…” He started sniggering again. “How you could have thought you’d fit!” He had to pause to stop himself from laughing too hard. “Ah well, I suppose that that is a good story and that it is definitely good enough for me to help you out of the mess you’ve got yourself into.”

With a sigh, the young prince pushed himself of the ground, stretching once he found himself on his feet. Cocking his head to one side, Kíli proceeded to inspect the pig's bum with a critical eye, searching for a way to unstick his friend without hurting her or cutting her in half.

Something about the situation (other than its sheet ridiculousness of course) made Kíli want to grin like an idiot. Perhaps it was the fact that it remind him of all the times he had started on a new project in the carpenter’s workshop; it would be a delicate task but it would be rewarding in the long run.

"Laugh all you want to. Besides I'm gonna be made fun of once the story gets out. I wouldn't hear enough of it making me become miserable. Even more so since my papa had passed away. It might also be that I might lose the only 2 friends I have because of this. Thanks for making my day worse than it already is" Astridr. She was just upset which caused her to say that. It was clear on her face that she was really upset at this and the fact she might face torture after this had gotten out. She wouldn't be able to bare that at all. It would maybe make her hide away and maybe not show her face. It was already hard enough as it was with her alone without any family.

At this point, she was starting to lose hope that she was going to get out of here. Even if Kili managed to get her out, she wouldn't be the same as she once was anymore. She was already too upset and the fact that Kili could spread this to his brother which could also result to spreading to more people, will really be hard for her. No one will like her that much anymore. It was a simple mistake of course but some might think she did this on purpose. The comments would come towards her which would hurt her so much.

(Oh the feels. I love this role-play by the way. Astridr is just getting frustrated and upset at this point is all)

Astridr looked well and truly stuck in the pig's bum and Kíli thought it a wonder that she’d been able to wiggle her way in in the first place. It certainly looked like it would have taken a lot of effort to make it as far as in as she did although Kíli knew from experience that it was far easier to get in to something than get out, the number of times he’d got himself stuck in one of his hidey-holes and then had to call for Fíli’s help or wait for his brother to notice he was missing (which always took a lot less time than he was expecting) was embarrassingly high. Kíli supposed that getting stuck in a tight space was a bit like life; it was ridiculously easy to get yourself in to trouble and then ridiculously hard to get yourself out of it.

It was a good thing she’d climbed in arms first or she would have been in real trouble.

As he examined the pig's bum his friend spoke again and her words came as some surprise.

“I’m not going to tell people Astridr,” He shook his head and came back round to the front of the pig's bum so he had a clear view of her face. “Only Fee. I’m not the type to go around telling everyone my friend’s problems. And I am your friend you know, friends don’t set out ot hurt other friends.” He felt his face crumple slightly at the hurt he’d felt. He’d never been told he was a bad friend before, at not least by someone who’d been serious.

“Do you really think so little of me?”

Astridr shook her head. "I'm sorry. It's just you and Fee are the only friends that I have ever have. I never had any until I came to Erebor" Astridr said now in a guilty tone. She was just afraid of losing both her friends. It would hurt her more but now she felt guilty and hurt for saying that. She looked down at the ground feeling very bad about what she had said to her friend.

"I'm never gonna get out of here" Astridr then said not looking up at Kee. She didn't mean to hurt his feelings, she just didn't want to lose friends because of this. "As long as you only tell Fee. I just hope that word will not get out of this" Astridr said to him still not looking up at him as tears threatened to fall down her cheeks but she didn't want Kee to see her cry at all. Sometimes, when she got frustrated or even upset, she would say things that she wouldn't mean then feel guilty afterwards once she realized what she had said.

Kíli couldn’t look his friend in the eye as she apologised, keeping his eyes on his hands as they played with a strip of bark he’d torn off whilst inspecting the pig's bum, knotting it in the complicated patterns and designs that he often wove in to his brother’s hair. It wasn’t as though what Astridr had said had been the hurtful thing ever directed at the young prince, far from it, but it wasn’t so much what she said that hurt so much; the fact that she should doubt him in such a way showed that she trusted him far less than Kíli thought she did. Kíli wasn’t sure if this lack of trust was through some fault of his own, if he had somehow unknowingly failed his friend, or if it was merely that there had always been difference in how highly they valued the other. In all honesty, the young prince wasn’t sure which he’d prefer it to be.

It hurt too that she thought so little of the dwarven race in general, let alone what she thought of him as an individual. She seemed to think that one comical tale, the tale of a dwarrowdam who had somehow managed to wedge herself firmly into a pig's bum, would be enough to turn all those she met against her. It was true that there’d be some laughs, some chuckles, some sniggers, and maybe some comments here and there but it would all have been in good taste and in even better humour, no one would have even thought about throwing a mean-hearted jibe in her direction and those that did would have quickly realised their mistake; dwarves tended towards companionship and didn’t take kindly to those who went out of their way to ostracise others. Kíli supposed that, because Astridr had spent so long caring for her father and hadn’t spent much time with other dwarrows before she met him and his brother, Astridr might not be aware of this but it still stung that she still had so little faith in her own race.

Pulling himself from his thoughts before they grew too dark, Kíli turned his eyes away from the strip of bark in his hands and looked up into his friend’s eyes. There was no point in sitting in silence, lost in his thoughts, it wouldn’t do either of them any good and, if it did anything at all, would probably make it worse. As long as he acted now, Kíli thought he had a chance to mend the rift he hadn’t known existed until a few minutes ago and, in doing so, had the chance to raise both their spirits. He wasn’t in the habit of being miserable if there was a chance that he didn’t have to be, unhappiness didn’t suite him and he didn’t think it suited Astridr either.

“It’s alright, Astridr, if I had anything to forgive you for it would be forgiven but, as it is, there is no need to apologise. I’m.. I’m not hurt, not really, I just didn’t realise we weren’t as close as I thought we were and that, that surprised me a little. But no matter, once I get you out of this pig's bum, and I will I promise you that, I’ll have plenty of time to fix that.” He smiled then, a proper smile, before pushing himself to his feet once more and making his way back round the pig's bum. “Now, let’s get you out of here.”

"And how are you going to do that" Astridr said giving a small smile in return. She couldn't help but she knew that deep down Kili was hurt over what she ended up saying. She glanced up at him. "Never mind. Just get me out is all I ask" Astridr said.

Kili took his time as he examined the pig's bum. A rushed job would be less than useless as he risked missing the very thing that might serve as the key to freeing his friend. It’s quite lucky I know how to work with wood. It was a strange thought to have, given the situation, but the random thought that had popped up in his mind happened to be true. Woodwork was not exactly a common pastime amongst dwarves, their interests normally being more along the lines of metalwork or jewel-craft with woodwork hidden somewhere at the back of the cupboard of things they’d rather not do. Dwarves could appreciate good woodcraft as much as the next elf but the majority of them would much rather leave the hard work to someone else. Most dwarves would have been unaware of the things they should have been looking for and, if by some stroke of blind luck, they managed to find what they didn’t know they’d been looking for, they certainly wouldn’t have known what to do with it. Kíli, on the other hand, knew exactly what he was looking for and, once he’d found it, exactly what to do with it.

So, for a few minutes (during which silence reigned supreme due to the fact that for once in his life Kíli was too distracted to blurt whatever passed through his mind), Kíli made his way around the pig's bum, examining every inch of it like Gloín examined his coin collection. He was about to start his second round when something caught his eye. He’d found what he was looking for: a slight crack in the wood. It wasn’t much to look at, easily missed by blundering fools who would have thought the only way to free Astridr was to smash the pig's bum to bits with her in it (which would likely have resulted in Astridr also getting smashed to pieces along with it) but to Kíli it was a little beacon of light. Which was why he did what any self-respecting dwarf would do when celebrating his genius: he whooped, loudly, before mentally patting himself on the back for a job well done.

Having celebrate his find with as much dignity as a dwarf could exhibit, Kíli came round to the front of the pig's bum so that he could talk to his friend face-to-face.

“I’ve found how to get you out! I’ve found it!” He beamed at her before continuing. “All I need are a few tools which, luckily for you, are in my pack. I need to go and get them but it shouldn’t take more than a few minutes; I hid my pack nearby and I know where it is. After that it should only be a matter of time before we’ve got you back on your feet and chasing rabbits once more.” He turned to go before another thought struck him. He paused. “You don’t mind me leaving you alone for a little while, do you?”

Astridr shook her head. She wouldn't mind if he went away for a few minutes. At least Kili was going to try and get her out of the sticky situation. "I'll be fine" Astridr said. She hoped to get out of here soon.